I haven't written in a week or so, mostly because I haven't been really sure about what to talk about. I have been filled with ideas, and yet this week has had me absolutely stumped. But I think I finally decided what I'd like to write about: I'd like to talk about my future.
As most of you know, I really struggle with trusting God with my future. I am an organizer, and when it comes to planning events, doing assignments, or knowing what my summer job a year from now will be, I want to plan it right now so that I can predict exactly what to expect. However, as we all know, our plans never tend to go the way we want them to.
I'm one of those people who enjoys quite a large variety of activities and hobbies. I like knitting, karate, reading, working with kids, hiking, going on adventures, biking, watching my favorite shows, etc. The list could go on and on. After college, I could see myself working full-time for an away summer camp, being a teacher, going abroad for a year or two and teaching English, working with orphans, working with refugees, moving to Colorado, staying in Chicago, moving to Berea (where my school is) permanently, going to seminary school, working in children's ministry at a church, or just simply being a stay-at-home mom. Again, the list is endless. And you know what? Every time I think I have my life figured out, the Lord completely redirects my life into a direction I never thought it could take. Simply put, my plans never work out. However, the Lord's plans have been carried out every single time. It's in His very nature. His will be done.
I always thought my way would be best. You know the old saying, "my way or the highway." That's been my thought process for most of my life. But now that the Lord truly has a hand on my life, and I've surrendered it over to Him, my mindset has changed. I'm realizing that I can never accurately predict my future. I can't know exactly what I'm going to do a year from now. I don't know who I will be as a person, who will come in and out of my life, where I will live, what my job will be, if I'll go to graduate school, or anything else. But I'm learning to be okay with that. After all, if I knew every twist and turn my life would take, where would my adventure with the Almighty Father be?
God has brought me to such incredible events, people, places, and life experiences in just the last two years I've grown in my relationship with Him. I've met an incredible group of Christian friends on campus, have studied abroad in Ecuador, have visited Italy, have decided on my major in Education, have taught a martial arts summer camp for two summers, have gotten through multiple family crises, have gone on a missions trip to Panama City Beach, FL, and so much more in just the last two years. If you had asked me two years ago if I would have ever done any of these things, my answer to most of them would be "no way!" But that's the glory of God at work!
The more I pursue Him, the more he leads my paths straight, straight being the direction of His will for my life. I don't always understand why I'm going through what I'm going through. Sometimes it seems like a piece of cake, and other times I feel like I'll never make it out alive. However, God is good. He never leaves me. He never forsakes me. He wants the best for my life, and more than anything, for me to know Him on a deeper and deeper level.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will lead your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I struggle with this a lot, too - trying to plan and organize everything exactly the way that I think it should be . . . only to find out that, of course, God's plans were way better to begin with. I like to be in control far too much, and truly learning how to give up that control is a lengthy process, but it's so worth it. Thank you for sharing!!!
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