I am the Rose

I'll admit it. I've been struggling. Struggling to know God even deeper. I know there's more than just saying "I believe in God" and spouting off a couple of Bible verses here and there.

I've been experiencing Him in new ways, ways I never used to think were possible. And yet I feel caught in the middle. I want my relationship with Him to take leaps and bounds, but I feel like I'm taking so many mini steps, sometimes even backwards steps. I take giant steps in some areas, but then I also tend to stay stagnant in others, which prevents me from breaking through new barriers.

I woke up this morning feeling this stagnancy. I started praying desperate prayers to my Father, knowing that He was listening, but still feeling like He was so far away. After about an hour of just hanging out in my room before I officially got out of bed, I saw a post from my roommate on my Facebook wall. This is what it read:

The Lord wants me to tell you,

"Daughter, I do not change. Wherever you go, I am there. I am in front of you, I am behind you, and I am with you. Do not fear, but be strong and of good courage. Trust in Me and be fully dependent on Me, for when you are, there is not a care in the world. Even when it feels like I am not with you, I am. Believe in Me. I have told you that I will be with you always...Now it is time to take My word for it."

I love you Tor..But Jesus loves you so much more.

Whoa. 

After the video, she posted a song called More than Ashes by Tim Reimherr/
Merchant Band (seriously...watch it.)

After reading her message and listening to the song, tears just started streaming down my eyes. Here is the Holy Spirit using my wonderful roommate to speak directly to my heart. His message to me through my roommate and the song she showed me literally touched on everything I had been thinking about deep down. I was simply in awe.

God spoke to me. 

He spoke to me. 

He heard me.

He responded to me.

I am not defined by anything but what He thinks of me. And I am His rose. I am the joy He died for. I move Him with delight.

This is the truth. Satan is great at convincing me that I'm too much, or not enough (sometimes both at the same time, if that's even possible). But. that. is. a. LIE. The truth is that He is ravished by the sight of one glance from me. I am the Rose...

I am His.