- selfish
- complainer
- judgmental
- achiever
- "good person"
- prideful
- unhappy
- consumed by materialism
- exhausted
- defensive
- too talkative
- attention stealer
- considered myself better than everyone else
- lustful
- feeling unloved
- empty
- flirty
- greedy
- horrible at sharing
- gluttonous
- gossipy
- self-helper (I can do this on my own)
- planner
- snaps back
- overly sarcastic
I decided to make this list as a reflection on the changes in my life that God has made. I made the list, and then was going to circle anything on the list I felt the Lord was still trying to work on my heart in. I figured since there were a lot of the areas I've already improved tremendously in since accepting the Lord into my heart two years ago, there wouldn't be too much to circle.
However.
As I began circling things, I realized I needed to circle every single one of the items on the list. Even though I may not be as terrible in certain areas anymore, I'm still completely and utterly guilty of all of those traits. And I always will be. I am THAT sinful. No, this is not an easy thing to admit, especially in public. But it needs to be said. Because this is exactly why I know I need Christ in my life.
If I tried to make it in this life on my own, I would be in Hell if I died tonight. There is literally nothing I can do to save myself. I'm so beyond guilty it's embarrassing, really. I don't deserve God's love. But is Hell where I would end up? No! God's grace has covered me. I don't even understand why He would have such mercy on such a pitiful creature like myself. And yet, He extended out His loving arm when He sent His one and only Son Jesus Christ, who led a perfect and sinless life, to die on the cross for my sins. I did that to Him. Jesus died so I could live in Heaven with God forever.
Why? Why would He do that?! I will never be able to fathom that kind of love.
However, I do know that by accepting that love and sacrifice, and by laying my life down before my King and my Redeemer, I am made perfect in His eyes. And because of this, I can live in freedom.
This changes everything.
With the Holy Spirit within me and guiding me, I am free to live my life with purpose for my King. Why would I want to live it for myself when that only leads me to my own demise? Praise God for the blood of Christ!
EPHESIANS 2:1-10 (NLT)
"Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil-the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (it is only by God's grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as show in in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
