In Pursuit of the One of I Love

Hello everyone! I will admit that I have not kept up with this blog as I hoped to. However, I would like to keep track of things that have been truly on my heart this summer and that I feel the Lord has been teaching me. I want to use this blog to not only share how the Lord has been teaching me to laugh without fear of the future, but to encourage others who may be struggling down some of the same roads. So for this post, though it will be longer than usual, I would like to focus on my pursuit of Jesus Christ so far this summer.

Since I gave my life to the Lord almost two years ago, I have been growing by leaps and bounds in Christ. He keeps bringing me to new seasons of my life, and I have been learning something new in each of them. He has been edifying me on deeper and deeper levels. I also have grown deeper into an intimate relationship with Him. In order to explain, let me start by giving you the whole story of where the Lord brought my heart this summer...

At the beginning of this summer (in May), I struggled. I struggled a lot. I was extremely excited to be reunited with my family, since I live 6 hours away from them for most of the year while I'm at school. However, I have grown so incredibly close to my brothers and sisters in Christ at Baldwin Wallace University, that it broke my heart to have to leave them back in Ohio. So the first month back in Illinois was rough. On top of everything, my two best friends from home weren't around. One stayed in Michigan for the summer, and the other was studying abroad in Italy for six weeks. Though my heart rejoiced for them, I also felt selfishly pained by it, feeling very alone without any friends to spend my summer with.

But even though I had my doubts, the Lord pursued me and put it on my heart to start riding my bike more often. I would go on 16 mile rides or just a quick four mile ride to the park. At the park, I would not only experience in full the joy of God's beauty in nature, but I also started to dig into my Bible and sit quietly in prayer. These were the first days of my Christian walk that I truly tried to start spending quality quiet time with the Lord every single day. Though it felt forced at first, it gradually grew into a daily need. Reading the Word and praying in my heart to my Father in Heaven became my daily bread, the daily bread that God promises me to sustain me. For the first time in my life, I realized that my best friend always was and always will be Jesus Christ himself.

Reading my Bible in the beautiful Panfish Park!

Fast forward to the end of May: I found out that a friend I used to bowl with was in a coma. He's only 19 years old. I later found out his lungs and heart stopped functioning on their own due to a bad reaction to the anesthesia he was put on to get his tonsils taken out. I was in complete and utter shock. Then, only two days later, a day I was fasting for his full recovery, I found out my grandma had a stroke that paralyzed her right arm and leg. I seriously couldn't believe it. Could God really be putting me through all this, let alone all at the same time?

The next two weeks were insanity. I visited my grandma in the hospital 40 minutes away every day for a full week, and then started visiting less often so that I could help take care of the house while my mom continued her visits to the hospital, and later, the rehab center my grandma got moved to. Though I was stressed and confused about how all this could be happening to me, I continued to pray and draw near to the Lord. In fact, I don't think I had ever felt as close to the Lord as I did in those two weeks. It was the first time I realized that adversity is really a blessing in disguise. My walk with the Lord grew abundantly in those two weeks, and I finally was put in a situation where I could do nothing but trust in Him. And He provided.

My friend who was in the coma came out of the coma after only a few days and started recovering at rapid rates. He had actually suffered from four strokes, and was partially paralyzed on the right side as my grandma was. I was fortunate enough to be able to visit him at the hospital one day and get to catch up with his family and encourage him in his fight to recover. With that fighting spirit, he is miraculously almost completely back to his original state before the whole incident happened. I say miraculously because his recovery from barely making through the night, to being in a coma, to being almost completely back to normal is a miracle. As for my grandma, her older age has slowed down her recovery rate, though she has made some leaps and bounds in the past two months. She was finally able to go home after three or so weeks in rehab. She still needs as wheelchair, someone to stay with her at all times, and help walking with her cane, but I am grateful she can move. I worry about her progress from here on out because she struggles  accepting the new changes she has to make to her lifestyle, but I'm learning to trust God with those details too. I know I just have to lay them at His feet.



The rest of the summer has had its own challenges. I teach a martial arts summer camp every morning during the week. My summer campers are wonderful, but they definitely know how to push my buttons. However, I can see how the Lord has already been working in my heart the past year because of the difference in the way I interact with the children from last summer. My patience has grown SIGNIFICANTLY and the quiet and gentle spirit I prayed for all last semester is finally starting to sink in. The Lord is faithful and will fulfill our prayers in His own timing :)

Another huge, more positive part of my summer has been getting involved with my new church, called Parkview Community Church. I ironically (and by ironically I mean by God's awesome will) found this church through one of my summer camper's mom, who works at the church. I found out she was a Christian last summer and we've grown closer and closer over the past year. I decided to try out the church and get involved right away by volunteering with the middle school ministry there. I have been nothing but blessed by the adults and children I've met there. In fact, the faith of some of these middle schoolers, especially the girls I've worked closer with, was so much stronger than I ever thought a 12-year-old's faith could be. These girls have inspired me to be my very best, and their loving nature has encouraged me to always be myself. I find this so fascinating, considering that middle school is one of the toughest places to remain yourself. I thought I would be getting involved in this ministry being able to help change these girls lives, and yet they're the ones who have been changing mine. Just another testimony to God's plans always being far bigger and greater than I could ever fathom on my own.

Lastly, I want to mention the new Bible study I got involved with three weeks ago. This whole summer I've been left to spend time with God, my family, and my young summer campers (ages 4-12) with hardly any interaction with people my own age. Though I grew tremendously in the Lord during that time, learning that He was my one true best friend that would never leave me or let me down, I felt Him nudging at my heart that it was okay to finally look for some community with people my own age. That's when I got the courage to finally attend the 20Somethings Bible study group through my new church. My wonderful Lord-serving sister in Christ, Danielle, encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and attend this group, even though I didn't know anybody and I would probably be the youngest one there. So I did. And it's been incredible getting to become part of a new family of believers that are so near to me while I'm home. Though the Lord didn't allow for me to spend the first half of my summer with my friends, He has brought me to some pretty amazing new people who I already feel comfortable and myself around. Just another reminder that God loves to pour blessings on His faithful children.

Though there's so much more I could say, I wanted to hit the major points of how God has been drawing me nearer to Him this summer. I feel nearer to Him than ever, and the perseverance He's been teaching me is only growing my relationship with Him to a whole new level. He is showing me His "greater picture" view of everything by revealing connections between events I could have never fathomed. I've never felt more loved or in love with Jesus Christ than I do right now. I can't wait to see what He has in store for the rest of my summer journey with Him :)